To Really Love Another, One must really love themselves

I was recently invited by one of my friends to be a guess blogger on her blog as she is looking for guest bloggers to write anything in regards to love. So I thought more about what love is and really what is key to love.

When the month of February comes around each year, we all are reminded in some form or another that it is Valentine’s Day and celebration of love whether it is something we individually want to think about or not.  It is in our human nature to want love, companionship, intimacy, and affection in our lives to some degree. I have come across many people looking for these things in their lives whether it is the single person, the divorced person, or the married person. For the single person, they are looking for the “one” to fall in love with and share life with. For the divorced person, to hope for and find love again with the person that is right for them. For the married person,  to continue to have the lasting love and companionship with their partner.

So love is something we all are seeking or longing for, but how can we find love and sustain love with another individual. I believe the key to this is loving yourself or “self love” and knowing yourself. By this, I mean know who you are which includes knowing what you stand for, knowing your own strengths and weaknesses, and loving yourself for whom you are. If there are things you don’t love about yourself than change those things.

 We all have been in those self-pity stages in our lives where we feel no one loves us or cares about us which happens and is normal to feel that way occasionally, but it is those individuals that have love for themselves that can get over that and press on and really love someone else.  When you really look at those people around you that are in loving successful relationships is because they have love for themselves and whom they are. By loving yourself, I am not referring to it just to be all about loving you, but a more selfless love- loving yourself, but also giving of yourself. It is possible to love yourself so much that you become selfish, arrogant, and prideful which are the primary reasons why don’t find love or why love in relationships doesn’t last and leads to relationships ending as well as probably the most immeasurable factor in divorces.

Look at the examples, you have around you of individuals in loving, successful relationships compared to those that  are in unhappy, not so loving relationships and ask yourself these questions.  Are the ones in loving relationships more happy not only individually, but happy together as partners compared to those in not so loving relationships? Are individuals in loving relationships know who they are and tend to love themselves more compared to those in not so loving relationships? Are individuals in loving relationships more selfless compared to those in not so loving relationships?

So to really love someone else, I believe one first must love themselves. Just think about it, if you don’t love yourself, how do you expect anyone else to really love you. Does anyone really want to be with someone that doesn’t love themselves or is not happy with themselves? Do you as an individual want to be with someone that doesn’t love themselves enough where they don’t care or not happy with their lives? Of course not,  most of us don’t want to be with someone that is unhappy or miserable. Yes, it is possible to find love if we don’t really love ourselves or find a relationship with someone that doesn’t love themselves, but as individuals we have to think is that something we really want and is it something that would be a loving, lasting relationship that we all long for.

Happy New You!!

Happy New Year!!!

With a New Year, we often reflect to the previous year and than look forward to a better upcoming year. We look back at what we did and didn't do or could have done better last year and look forward to the new year of what plan on doing or improving on in our own lives.

Looking back at what we didn't do or accomplish can throw us for a loop as maybe we didn't do those things or make those changes in our lives we were hoping for which can keep us feeling trapped and helpless.

So for the New Year, most of us usually make some kind of resolutions and/or goals would like to achieve for the upcoming year. However, most of us don't keep up with those goals whether it is lack of time, energy, or life just happens. Some of us when we don't reach or keep those resolutions and goals can lead us to get upset, depressed, and angry at ourselves which can be a dentriment to our own well-being.


So here are some pointers to think about when it comes to goal-setting or resolutions to a become a N.E.W. YOU!!

• Never set a goal/resolution that isn't realistic or can't do. Be realistic and set goals you can reach.

• Enjoy the goals/resolutions you have planned to do. Goal-setting should be fun not burdensome and something that you want to do and achieve.

• Welcome change/adaptility. Life happens so don't overload yourself with too many goals. Focus on a few at a time and adapt where necessarily.

YOU are in charge and in control of what you want to achieve and where you want to be at. So not only make this a Happy New Year, but a Happy You.